Declining Once Again

I am so disappointed! I was doing great in April and then once May hit I started to slowly decline. Now I have definitely relapsed. My babesia is back full force, having night sweats every night, most mornings I have to peel my clothes off and air hunger is back. I think the two worst symptoms of lyme is the air hunger and dizziness. It's so scary when you can't get air in your lungs no matter how many deep breathes you take. So here we go again, dealing with this crap and starting a whole new batch of drugs. I am low on a lot of things, iron, magnesium, calcium...so I am starting some stuff for that too and changing my diet. No wonder I am soooo tired all the time. Today I start a new drug for yeast overgrowth that can really kick my butt and herx and tonight I start another new one for babesia that can also cause me to herx big time. I so don't want to be in that place again, but it means it's killing the bugs. It's just a matter of how hard it hits me and how I am going to get through it.

It's especially hard to be back in this place after doing so well and feeling like I was actually getting better and the hard stuff was behind me! I was 80-90% most days and we were actually planning for our next child. That is the most upsetting part of this whole thing, I can't plan for that anymore. There is no way my body could handle a pregnancy anymore and I am starting some pretty aggressive treatments that I wouldn't be able to take during a pregnancy. My doc and I are also discussing some more treatments that are even more aggressive than what I am starting this week. I will talk about that when the time comes. So, I feel like my life has been ripped away from me again and my hopes and dreams for the future are out the door. I have been really emotional about it and depressed. It just plain old sucks and I have had enough!