Treatment-Week 4-Herxing

Week 4 has been much harder than I thought it would be. I haven't changed anything or added treatments, but the herxing is insane. I am proud of myself for being able to get things done I need to as far as parenting and working but it sure isn't easy. I have tried to add in things to make life easier. I started ordering on-line groceries, using Amazon to also order things I need and using help from others when it is needed. It takes a village when someone isn't sick, it sure takes a village when you are sick. I really do hate asking for help and needing help, but sometimes I have to give in and just ask, accept it, and move on. It is my life, I have to just do what I can. Thankfully I have fantastic neighbors that have helped me out some. 

The herxing has been kind of strange and I have some new symptoms I have never had before, and then some I have had many times. One new one is I keep getting a sensation of bugs crawling around in my left eye. I don't know what that is about but its disgusting and I would be perfectly fine if that one left and never came back. It doesn't matter what I do to try and stop it, it just kind of comes and goes on its own. Another new one is I am getting "hot spots" randomly around my body. I know some of it can be histamine related but I am sure some of it has to do with herxing and also neuropathy. It tends to be in the evening, I will get one hot ear, one hot foot, one spot on one of my legs gets hot, one hot finger. Its very strange. Some of the other herxing symptoms I am getting: hot flashes, major fatigue, night sweats, nausea, head and neck ache, visual stuff like blurry vision that comes and goes along with floaters, brain fog, muscle fatigue, muscle pain, body pain, foot pain, dizziness, itching, ear ringing. Some of these I have all of the time but some are from herxing and all the die off in my body. 

I have been trying to work on detoxing since the meds are killing off the spirochetes at a rapid pace. I am sure my body cant keep up, hence the ridiculous herxing. I am trying to remember to put burbur drops in my water daily, I took a detox bath today (which I need to do every couple of days), trying to drink tons of water. I need to get back in to many other detoxing methods too to help things along. Another easy one to do is Dry Brushing, I always forget to do that before jumping in the shower, but it really does help a ton. It is hard to fit in detoxing when you are so drained but its an important component to healing. 

Yesterday and today have been rough. Today I have laid low and have been in bed most of the day. If I have my eyes open too long, they start to really burn. So I take breaks after being on the computer or watching tv to give them a rest. I wish I could just sleep all day long, but in order to get my supplements in, my IVs, and food so the meds dont make me extra sick, I cant go too long in between with out having to do all of those things. They all need to be spaced out through out the day and some cant be taken to close in time to another one. Then of course the kids want to see me etc. I am doing the best I can to rest up on the weekend so I can function during the week so I can continue working and continue to be available for my kids. 

If anyone has any specific questions about Lyme Disease, Co-Infections or anything related, please let me know. I would love to do blog posts about those to help educate people. That has always been my goal once I became sick. I want people to be aware so they can protect themselves and their loved ones! And to better understand chronic illness. 

Only With Lyme Disease

Only with a weird, crazy disease like Lyme can you have one day where you feel so sick and feel like you are slowly dying and wish you would just die in your sleep. And the next day you feel amazing and can get a ton done. And then the next- herxing so badly you feel horrible. It's a crazy ride. I hope tomorrow is the better day again. Today has been really hard, I feel terrible, So tired, weak, sick like I have the flu, and really, really toxic which tends to effect my brain functioning. Which for me= a massive amount of depression that is hard to handle. The brain part of it is the hardest part to handle a lot of times. Lets hope some detoxing helps so tomorrow is a more clear day. I just need the reminder that things can always be worse than they currently feel, you need to struggle to make progress!

Lyme on the Brain

Lyme can effect every part of your body including your brain. A lot of people don't talk about it for fear they will be judged, loose their job, loose their friends or family and many other reasons. A blog friend of mine was brave enough to write about it and I think it's an important thing for people to read. Please read her blog entry--

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 25, 2011
Lyme in the Brain
This post isn't very exciting or happy for that matter. It is one that I need to write however just to get rid of some of the junk floating around inside of me. It is also one that I will wonder if I should even make public. I realize though that one you have a choice to read this and second it is the truth. This is my reality and the reality for a lot of other lymies. It wasn't until more recently that I really began to understand how much this disease can and does mess with your head. Besides the forgetfulness, ADD and brainfog type symptoms it really can begin to mess with your emotions and feelings. I realize now when people close to me have commented on how I have changed..."You never used to be so impatient" or "You always used to be happy and now you never seem to be happy" that the lyme disease has gotten to my brain. I know it must be easy from the outside looking in to think that I am blaming everything on lyme. Well is some ways I am but it is only because that is the reality of this disease. It can get to every organ, tissue and system in your body. Nothing is off limits. I have had some really rough times as a mom feeling so guilty and ashamed for my outbursts and yelling at my kids. I could never understand where these frustrated feelings would come from. It is a very real feeling that builds up inside of me so quickly and I just lose it. I have done it over the phone to credit card people, in the Verizon store, at my husband. I have embarrassed him on at least a few occasions for losing my temper. It is a very out of control feeling. After learning more about this disease and hearing from other lyme patients I realize that those episodes were what is known as Lyme Rage. I haven't had it nearly as much but in the last week or two it has come creeping back. I would just rather not be around anyone for fear they may push my buttons. On top of this and it seems most often when I am in this state of mind I am most prone to depression. I do not believe I will need to take medication for this. I just need to get rid of the lyme. However, if you have never been depressed, it can be a very dark place. These are the moments when I have literally fallen on the floor, sobbing and screaming at God to fix this, to take me out of the pit I am in because I didn't know what would happen if it went any further. I am so thankful God has rescued me each time. Then I get to this place where I almost feel nothing. That happened this morning. I couldn't figure out what to do. I needed to go the store but I needed to figure out if I even had money to get what I needed or I guess wanted. I wanted to get a coffee but knew I shouldn't spend my last few bucks on that. I ended up sitting in my truck in a parking lot listening to the radio unable to make a decision on anything. I eventually ended up back at home without spending a penny. I just can't seem to make up my mind about simple things and everything becomes a big deal. I need to eat but I am not really hungry and nothing sounds good so it would be easier to just avoid that. But if I don't eat I can't take me medicine which means I am prolonging getting better. It just becomes almost anxiety producing to have to think about anything. I would rather just stay in bed under the covers until this passes. Not the way my life works. It is very hard to explain this to someone including my husband. I think most people with this disease or even people with depression would tell you it is very hard to explain. It is not just a matter of getting over it, thinking positive and it will all be okay. Very aggravating and something I hope has big improvements when I am all done with this and that any phases of this that I experience while I am getting better will be short. Just know that in this state of mind everything around me is very overwhelming and don't expect me to make a decision on anything. With that being said, I really don't want to discuss it but will just ask for a little understanding and a lot prayers. Thanks.
By Jessica http://jessicamadson.blogspot.com