I am choosing to write about a very controversial topic because its very common in the Chronic Lyme Disease community and I think its something that needs to be talked about.
Many Lyme people die each year from suicide. It's such a hard disease to deal with-you are on so many meds, you feel like crap a lot of the time, not many people understand, you really have to know where to look to get the support you need from others that are going through the same thing, even close family just don't understand and their helping words or actions may makes things worse even though its with good intentions, meds can really mess with your brain because of die off, you are so dang emotionally and physically exhausted, you morn the loss of the life you had before Lyme, it seems never ending, it's a very long process and can take a long time before you are well again, you feel bad that you are always having to disappoint your friends and cancel on get togethers or all you can do is sit and watch movies or chat because you are too drained to do anything else, it is SO expensive to treat Lyme and it causes a huge burden on your family, you feel like your job suffers and feel guilty, I always feel like I am letting down my daycare families even though I still do almost everything I could before just slower, you are totally exhausted from working a full week, you just feel like you can't do it anymore and feel maybe it would be better if you just end things so you aren't a burden on those you love anymore.
What do I do to get past those feelings—I make sure I am around a friend or my husband when I am feeling low or lonely, I call my therapist or make an appointment-she is awesome at talking me down and good at playing the guilt card when it involves abandoning my child and husband, call a Lyme friend, go to a Lyme support group, post on my on-line Lyme groups, call my Lyme doc, go to sleep, cuddle with my pet piggie-animals are so therapeutic, cuddle with my daughter or husband, make sure I am around my child-if I am around her I am safe, leave the house and do something fun with someone, go out with my girlfriends that understand and are really supportive of me, write in my journal, detox using the sauna or epsom salt bath to get the toxins out, go to a movie, have a written plan, and if really bad then check myself into the hospital. I haven't had to yet and hope I never have to.
What have some of my Lyme friends said that help them-Get neighbors and friends involved, consider going to a DBT(Dialectic Behavioral Therapy) Group, remember you are a hero to at least somebody, have a written plan, at least once daily (& sometimes several times daily) do visualizations, seeing yourself healthy & beyond the severe challenges, doing what you enjoy and doing what you feel you were put here on earth to do, see yourself thriving & not just surviving, having family support, meditating, applying your faith, and distractions are all therapeutic.
We have to fight this nasty disease, it can't win, we can't surrender to it, we have to remember we aren't alone and others are going through the exact same thing, we just have to reach out to them and others. We are much healthier than we would be without treatment and we are on the right path, we can't dwell on the past or the future, we have to focus on the now and focus on making ourselves as healthy as we can for now so we will have a bright and healthy future ahead of us.