Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Who Is There For You?

I read on a lymies facebook status "People get sick of you being sick." It's totally true and you find out real fast who your real friends are when you are chronically sick. We get sick of being sick!! I am sure a lot of the time people don't know what to do or what to say, especially if it an on going sickness like most people with lyme disease. Going into remission is a loooong process, it can take years, and usually does! It's sad to me that people I thought would be here for me haven't been. I know people have busy lives and have their own issues they have to deal with which is why I don't expect much. Most lymies just want a phone call, text, email, asking how you are or asking if you want to get together. Of course we don't have energy to be too active so for a lymie to hang out usually means renting a movie or going to one or laying low doing something like a bon fire. We really don't expect a lot, just want support and to feel like your friends still want to see you. It is a very lonely disease and hard to get through and we need all the support we can get. I am very thankful for all of the awesome Lyme friends I have made, they totally understand how I feel physically and mentally and I would be lost with out them! Thank you to all of the people that have been there for me!

Friday, July 22, 2011

This & That

I am still herxing a lot and having a rough time. Mostly at night and on the weekends, for the most part I can keep it together during work hours. The massive heat index does not help any and makes me feel really sick so I do my best to stay out of it. Pain is still here but it gets much, much worse at night. Bone, muscle, joint, head aches, etc. It really is almost every inch of my body. The head aches are horrible, it's my entire head, then travels down into my jaw, then to teeth and down the back of my neck. In fact as I write this I am in a really large amount of pain. Probably shouldn't be on the computer! A new herx for me is what feels like electrical currents shooting through my body, mostly my head. It is so very painful and you pray it's a fast one. The ones in my head are the most painful. There is a lot of die off happening which means there is a lot of toxicity floating around in my body that I need to try and get out. I am taking a break from my sauna for now because I herx too badly and it effect my lungs and lung tissue too much right now and would like to stay out of the ER ;-) Lord knows we lymies end up there too often. So I am sticking to epsom salt baths, dry brushing, lemon water and acupuncture for now. I always do all of the above but the salt baths, normally I would do the sauna. I haven't worked up the courage to do coffee enemas but I know a ton of people that do them and say it works great!

Salon visits are no longer enjoyable. I went to get my hair highlighted tonight and was just in pain the whole time. An hour and a half of someone pulling your hair, putting you under a very hot dryer when you are already hot, washing your hair and rubbing(more like scraping) your head with her very long finger nails and then doing it again with conditioner, then brushing and more pulling, a very hot hair dryer that kept burning my very sensitive scalp and blowing it right in my ears, hot iron and done. I was very thankful it was over. By the end I had a raging head ache, my scalp hurt and I wanted out of there! Pre-Lyme treatment I loved going to the salon, now not so much! At least my hair color is nice!

Emotionally it has been hard lately. I can feel the die off happening in my head, which isn't pleasant. I am so drained and tired but can't fall asleep so always lacking energy the next work day, I can only sleep in one day a week if my hubby gets up with the 4yr old because we are working the other 6 days, foggy, dyslectic, very weak, easily depressed because it feels never ending, etc, etc. I could go on and on. Had enough complaining?! I am just doing what I am supposed to be doing and trying to get through it all and try to be a good wife, mother, friend and business owner I can be.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

In The World Of Brain Fog

One of the herxing symptoms I have is brain fog, I have some pretty interesting days and thought I would share, yesterday there was a lot. Hope you are entertained! You know you are a lymie if--

  • Apparently shampoo now goes on the shower body puff
  • Go into a store just to buy milk, walk in the door and totally forget why you are there
  • Shave one leg and not the other, I guess I wanted to be rugged and smooth
  • Switching letters around as if I am dyslexic, so badly that spell check has no clue what you are trying to spell
  • Keep forgetting names and call everyone by the name of your pet piggie
  • You can't remember if you have already shampooed your hair so you end up doing it 3 times
  • Throw a load of laundry in the wash, totally forget it's in there, re-run, forget again until you have re-done this process 4 times, and THEN you remember to put it in the dryer
  • Forget if you have fed your piggie so he ends up getting 2 breakfasts, no wonder he is fat
  • Had to add one more that happened tonight. I went and rented a movie that I thought I hadn't seen yet. Showed it to hubby and he informed me we watched it last month! Really?! Come on!! Guess I can keep renting the same movies!
There have been many more but I can't remember them ;-)

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Yellow Paint Medicine

I am back on the "yellow paint medicine" AKA-Mepron for my co-infection Babesia. I started it last month and boy did I herx from it! Shaking, dizzy, super nauseous, twitching, tons a brain fog... I got a week break from it and now I am back on this week. So far I really haven't noticed much of anything, not sure if that is good or bad. I do notice when I am on it that I don't have night sweats and overall can tell it's working. As long as it keeps killing bugs we are good to go! Oh, and the "yellow paint medicine" is liquid and, well, tastes like Paint! Yuck!!! It's super nasty and really hard to get down the pipe! I also have to eat high fat foods twice a day when I take it so it is properly absorbed. I am used to a very low fat diet so that has been really hard to adjust to as well. I see my doc tomorrow, we shall see what she says!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Lyme+Stress+Traveling=Rough Shape

It has been a rough week or so. I found out my cousin passed away unexpectedly which has been a huge shock to everyone involved. Of course I was very upset and really stressed out about the situation. I shut down my daycare and planned for the trip. He lived in a different state so my family and I loaded up a big van and headed out of town so we could be there to support the rest of the family and to say our good byes to him. The drive was about 5-6 hours depending on how many stops we made. Between the stress building up, the drive time, having to skip certain meds because of such a busy schedule, having to say good bye, hotel beds, having a hard time finding proper gluten free and dairy free meals and some drama involved I am maxed out. My body is pretty mad at me and I am in a lot of pain. Mentally and emotionally it's been hard to deal with and physically my body is breaking down. I feel so bad for my uncle and my other cousin. It's hard to see people hurting so much and knowing you cant take the pain away. I wish there was more I could do to ease the pain for everyone. Stress is not good for Lyme but I still think it's nothing compared to loosing your son and your brother. I am trying to find peace knowing he is in a better place now and not in pain anymore. I love you, cousin!