Saturday, October 15, 2011

Trying to Except Things

I am sure my situation sounds like a million others out there-person get's sick, looses job, looses house, has to go on food stamps, use the food shelf and has to rely on others for her to survive. It's more common than people would like to think.

However this is not what I expected out of my adult life. We have had so many challenges in our 8 years of marriage it's amazing we are still together. It feels and has been never ending, it's so draining. I am just thankful my daughter has made it a whole year with out having to be admitted into the peds ward for the millionth time. I am glad she is at least healthy for now. We have made it through so much already that I have no doubt we will make it through this one and come out stronger in the end. But right now, it doesn't feel like that. It's hard to except all the new changes that have all happened in a very short amount of time. Yesterday was my last day doing home daycare. I had to say good bye to all my kids. They were my family and I worked hard to open my home to them and make them my family. It's upsetting to let them go and upsetting my health has caused all of this. I know it is for the better and now I can focus on my daughter and on healing but I feel lost. I am used to go, go, going. Lyme has slowed me down A LOT but now, with out working, it's going to be a bit of a shock. I have worked my whole life.

We still have a lot to do. I am working on clearing out all of my daycare items and thinning out the house so we won't have as much to move once it sells. We rented a huge dumpster to toss a ton of things. Once we move we will have more changes we will have to get used to. We won't have our own home anymore. We will be living with family and having to adjust to that. I hope all of these changes are for the better and we can all have a healthier life. Our credit will be shot for 3-5 yrs since we are selling our house short sale. My hope is that in 3 years, I will be healthy, my daughter will be happy and healthy, my husband will have 1 normal 40 hour a week job and he is healthy and that we can afford to have a nice home to ourselves! Time to start working on that goal...


  1. I'm here if you need anything! Keep fighting!! Love you girl!


  2. Don't give up the dream. I had to quit my consulting job just as my career was starting and move in with my parents because I couldn't recover from mono. After years of struggling I learned I have lyme and am getting it treated. I have never owned a house but I own my body now and I don't care if it takes me till I'm 50, I will one day own a lovely house too. So will you, give it time but don't give up the dream.

  3. Hang in there and know you are not alone. We lost our house not too long before all of this started and we realize it was God's way of preparing us for what is to come. We have lived with my parents for over a year and alothough it is a challenge at times, we know it is for the best. I just lost my job in the fire department. This disease knows no limits but you are right, you will get through it and be stronger on the other side. Sending hugs. Hang in there.

  4. Hang in there. It is hard to give up things you love to fight for your health, but sometimes it helps us fight a little harder, a little stronger. Know that there are many out there thinking of you and praying for you. I hope that even though your changes are not ideal, you are able to see the sunshine and keep fighting the good fight. Hugs to you.