Picc Line

I have't updated in a while and many things have changed! I was hitting road blocks with the oral meds so my lyme doctor and I decided it was best for me to get a picc line put in and get IV treatments. I was really nervous to get the line put in, I mean there was going to be a tube inside my arm to my heart that stayed there!! Ew! I knew I would be fine once it was in but the process of getting it in grossed me out. My hubby came with and I had two great nurses. There was a little trouble getting it in the right location but once it was in the correct spot I was good to go! Its been really great! I forget its there most of the time and once it healed I could do normal things with my arm again. My nurse said I could even lift weights if I wanted to. Note to self-get my butt in gear and start working out again ;-) I have had one blood clot in my line but it was really no big deal. My nurse came over and put meds in my line to take care of the clot and the line worked again!

I started out on one drug that was one IV a day, then I got bumped up to two IV's a day. Currently I am on two different IV drugs. One is a cyst buster that I do three days a week, twice a day. The other is the drug I started with that is four days a week, twice a day. I was warned by many that IV therapy is really rough and I will be down and out for a while, especially the cyst busters. Of course I have had bad days but its been a blessing to have this treatment. I have come a long ways in a very short period of time and I am not herxing like crazy like many people thought I would. I love this treatment, I only wish I would have done it earlier! Lets hope I keep getting better and will enter the world of remission soon! How awesome would that be! I never thought it was possible after 5 1/2 years of fighting for my health!! Check out facebook for more pictures of the picc line process.

Drugs, No Drugs, Drugs, No Drugs

Just a little update. My poor body has been a mess. I was doing great so my lyme doc wanted to take me off all drugs for a month in order to do the Borrelia Culture through Advanced Labs. It's a newer test and a lot of docs are super excited about it because it's much, much more sensitive than any other culture out there. I felt great the first 4 days off treatment and then went down hill very fast. Psychologically I was a complete mess, I was so tired, and a million other things. So after I couldn't take it any longer I called my doc back and explained. He had me go back on a much higher dose of one of my meds to try and jump start me back to feeling good. Not good. I-FELT-HORRIBLE. I needed to puke but wouldn't allow myself because I needed to keep the drugs in, which resulted in dry heaving. Needless to say I was HERXING like crazy, my body was not happy with me for cutting all drugs cold turkey and then going back on, but only one drug, and a higher dose than normal. I decided to change my schedule up and take them all at bedtime in hopes I would just herx when I was sleeping. It didn't really seem to help much. Finally two days ago I couldn't take it any longer and made the decision to go down to one pill instead of two. Yesterday I felt so much better and so far today I feel pretty good! Thank god! My doc wanted me to call after I was back on for 10 days and then we plan on trying to go off drugs again to do the lab in one month, oh joy, can you feel my excitement?! Not sure If want to deal with the off and on drug battle again. He is going to call my back and we will go from there. I am just going to enjoy feeling good again and see what the next step is we take.

Joint pain-Lyme or Damage?

Joint pain was one of my first symptoms 5 years ago, one day I woke up in a lot of pain and my fingers frozen in the claw position. I couldn't pick my baby up out of her crib, I couldn't unscrew her bottles, it was hard to zip things, button things, snap things, etc.  It just got worse from there and my body would add more and more symptoms as time went on and on until a doc FINALLY diagnosed me with Lyme Disease along with the co-infections Babesia and Bartonella. Fast forward 5 years and 2 years of treatment and my body is in a much better place. I normally don't have joint pain anymore unless I push it. So which is it? Lyme disease or permanent damage from going so long with out being diagnosed and treated? I often wonder this. According to one of my lyme docs my Lyme and Bartonella are in remission and I just have Babesia left. This one has been the hardest on my body and hard to treat and get rid of. So when I over do it and my joints hurt, is it the babesia? Maybe my joints will always hurt and get sore when I am more active. If I do a lot of sewing or crafting, I am sore. If I walk a long ways, I am sore. If I work out, I am sore. Maybe I am just not active enough? Maybe babesia is hanging on? Or maybe that is how it will always be. Its frustrating not knowing. At least it isn't as bad as it was 5 years ago. I just hope that one day it will totally be gone and there are no lingering effects of Lyme and I will be in total remission.

Toxicity

Impending doom fills the air


The fog takes over your brain

It is thick like sludge

Your thoughts slow down

You feel stuck in between two worlds

The toxicity takes over

You can’t think

You can’t focus

You are no longer thinking like a person

You are thinking like the monster that has taken over your brain

You want out

It doesn’t matter how

You want to be alone

But know you shouldn’t be

You want to run, but the monster will follow you

You want it to end

Even if the end is truly the end

You know you need to surround yourself with those that care

You don’t want to, but force yourself to

The disease can’t win

You are stronger than that

You are strong

You will beat this


You will fight like you always fight

You are strong

Panic Attack

Panic Attack 

Everything is loud like a fun  house

I cringe, plug my ears

Nothing helps

My chest is tight

A giant is sitting on it

My heart is being squeezed

I can't breathe

I need air

It's thick and can't get air

The room is spinning

I close my eyes, try to focus

Focus

Focus

Breathe

Feel the room around me

Feel the ground

Breathe

Breathe Breathe

Count, inhale

Count, exhale

You will be okay

You will not die

Focus

Breathe

Inhale, exhale 

Escape the noise

The body slows down

Count, inhale 1-2-3-4-5

Count, exhale 1-2-3-4-5

Slow down

The room slows down 

Breathe 

Breathe

Feel the air

The room stops moving

You are back

You are alive

You are breathing 

You are okay 

The giant has left

You are breathing 

Take a deep breath

Feel it in your lungs

You are okay

Julie 2012

Update

Thing have been kind of mellow going from drugs to drug breaks. Now I am on new treatment for 8 weeks and its already been rough. Lot of bugs dying, that's for sure!! Even though it is miserable I know that this is how I am supposed to feel and it just means the treatments are working. Today I have been a sick, over heating, sweaty, pukey mess today. Luckily the hubby was home from work so took care of the kiddo so I could sleep all day. This too shall pass and I will come out better in the end.

Coffee Enema Detox

Great video explaining how coffee enemas work for those that are interested in trying it. Its very good for your body