Joint pain-Lyme or Damage?

Joint pain was one of my first symptoms 5 years ago, one day I woke up in a lot of pain and my fingers frozen in the claw position. I couldn't pick my baby up out of her crib, I couldn't unscrew her bottles, it was hard to zip things, button things, snap things, etc.  It just got worse from there and my body would add more and more symptoms as time went on and on until a doc FINALLY diagnosed me with Lyme Disease along with the co-infections Babesia and Bartonella. Fast forward 5 years and 2 years of treatment and my body is in a much better place. I normally don't have joint pain anymore unless I push it. So which is it? Lyme disease or permanent damage from going so long with out being diagnosed and treated? I often wonder this. According to one of my lyme docs my Lyme and Bartonella are in remission and I just have Babesia left. This one has been the hardest on my body and hard to treat and get rid of. So when I over do it and my joints hurt, is it the babesia? Maybe my joints will always hurt and get sore when I am more active. If I do a lot of sewing or crafting, I am sore. If I walk a long ways, I am sore. If I work out, I am sore. Maybe I am just not active enough? Maybe babesia is hanging on? Or maybe that is how it will always be. Its frustrating not knowing. At least it isn't as bad as it was 5 years ago. I just hope that one day it will totally be gone and there are no lingering effects of Lyme and I will be in total remission.

Toxicity

Impending doom fills the air


The fog takes over your brain

It is thick like sludge

Your thoughts slow down

You feel stuck in between two worlds

The toxicity takes over

You can’t think

You can’t focus

You are no longer thinking like a person

You are thinking like the monster that has taken over your brain

You want out

It doesn’t matter how

You want to be alone

But know you shouldn’t be

You want to run, but the monster will follow you

You want it to end

Even if the end is truly the end

You know you need to surround yourself with those that care

You don’t want to, but force yourself to

The disease can’t win

You are stronger than that

You are strong

You will beat this


You will fight like you always fight

You are strong

Panic Attack

Panic Attack 

Everything is loud like a fun  house

I cringe, plug my ears

Nothing helps

My chest is tight

A giant is sitting on it

My heart is being squeezed

I can't breathe

I need air

It's thick and can't get air

The room is spinning

I close my eyes, try to focus

Focus

Focus

Breathe

Feel the room around me

Feel the ground

Breathe

Breathe Breathe

Count, inhale

Count, exhale

You will be okay

You will not die

Focus

Breathe

Inhale, exhale 

Escape the noise

The body slows down

Count, inhale 1-2-3-4-5

Count, exhale 1-2-3-4-5

Slow down

The room slows down 

Breathe 

Breathe

Feel the air

The room stops moving

You are back

You are alive

You are breathing 

You are okay 

The giant has left

You are breathing 

Take a deep breath

Feel it in your lungs

You are okay

Julie 2012

Update

Thing have been kind of mellow going from drugs to drug breaks. Now I am on new treatment for 8 weeks and its already been rough. Lot of bugs dying, that's for sure!! Even though it is miserable I know that this is how I am supposed to feel and it just means the treatments are working. Today I have been a sick, over heating, sweaty, pukey mess today. Luckily the hubby was home from work so took care of the kiddo so I could sleep all day. This too shall pass and I will come out better in the end.

Coffee Enema Detox

Great video explaining how coffee enemas work for those that are interested in trying it. Its very good for your body

What I Wish I Knew Ten Years Ago

•What a deer tick looks like and how very small they are


•When a deer tick is engorged with your blood it can look as big as a wood tick


•How to properly take a tick out. Do NOT squeeze the body, use a tweezers and get the head


•You don’t have to be in the woods to get it, you can be in your own back yard or right in the city


•Not everyone gets the bulls eye rash


•If caught early and you treat right away with antibiotics it can potentially be enough to get rid of it


•If caught later, you could have years and years of treatment and the damage may be irreversible


•Doing a full body check every single night is a key factor to find any ticks either before they attach or get them out as soon as possible


•Showering after being outside lowers your risk to get any unattached ticks off of you


•Putting your clothes in the dryer after being outside can kill ticks attached to your clothing and lower your risk


•Pets can bring ticks into your house and they can drop from them onto your bed, couch etc and then attach to you


•Kids are at the highest risk


•Keeping your lawn very short and cleaning up leaves right away lowers your risk


•The Elisa test they do at a normal clinic is a horribly inaccurate test and normal MD’s are not educated like they should be about Lyme Disease and co-infections


•You need to see a Lyme Literate Doctor to get accurate information


•You should be clinically diagnosed in addition to the advanced testing, there is no test out there for lyme disease that is accurate enough to 100% go off of


•If after going to a million doctors and getting nowhere, and getting diagnosed with random things, you are still not getting better you need to see a lyme literate doctor to at least rule out lyme disease


•Lyme Disease isn’t called the great imitator for nothing. It can imitate MANY other diseases out there 


•Do your homework and fight for your own health. Only you know how you feel

Doctor Update

I went and saw my out of state doc last Friday for my in person check up! It went great, love my doc! He thinks that my Lyme and Bartonella are dormant and I just have Babesia left. How awesome is that!!!!! I have two out of the three in remission now, woohoo!! So now we are slamming Babesia even harder to try and kill it all off. I had a little drug vacation and started back today on some powerful drugs. In 3 weeks I will add more and gradually bump up to the higher dose. I am a little worried about how much herxing I will be having with such strong drugs, but I have had plenty in the past two years already. So I say bring it on! Let's kick it's butt!! Let's hope in 3 months I am in a much better place, I am making some huge strides and SO excited. Babesia has been the hardest one for us to treat so we don't know how long this process will take but at least there is a light at the end of the tunnel now. Yay for good news!