Monday, March 28, 2016

Hurtful Comments

I have learned over the years that uneducated people will make hurtful comments. The majority of the time they don't mean it, they just don't realize what they are saying is completely ridiculous and just how hurtful they can be to a person. For the most part I have learned to let those comments roll off my back. Or, I choose to take those opportunities to educate the person on the subject of lyme, or chronic illness. But sometimes it surprises me, or hits me harder than I would like. Especially when my children are involved. 

I was at a family function recently and someone there was asking about my health, my picc line, my treatment plan, etc. Then the person asked why the docs thought I had relapsed and needed treatment again, as in what caused it. I explained that there are many factors when it comes to lyme and everything else I have going on, and there are a million reasons a person can relapse. I said I am guessing my last pregnancy did a number on my body and it may have caused a relapse. This person then turned to my 2yr old and said "You did that?" Right to her. NO! SHE did not do this to me. If you are looking for someone to blame, then blame me. Myself and my husband are the ones that decided to get pregnant and add to the family. I am the one that knew the risks going into it. I am the one that chose, she did not. Do not ever, ever, for one second put this on my children, ever! This is not their battle and they are not the ones that caused me to be sick. I do not for one second want them ever thinking they are to blame for any of this. How horrible of a feeling for a child to think they are to be blamed for this. 

Having said all that, I feel we went into the process of pregnancy very educated. We had talked to many professionals, and learned everything we could. We waited until I hit remission and was healthy enough to handle a pregnancy again. I wanted another child for years, and years. It was really hard to wait, but we knew that was best. Once remission hit I went on a combo of pregnancy safe drugs to prevent passing lyme to the baby, for the entire length of pregnancy and breast feeding. I did everything I was suppose to, to keep my baby protected and to keep my own health in check. Sometimes you can do everything right and still have consequences when it comes to chronic health problems. But guess what, she was born healthy. She is a sassy, spunky, loving, fun 2yr old just like her big sis! She was worth the years of suffering to get better. The tough pregnancy was worth it, both of my children were worth it. My children will always be worth everything I go through. They are the reason I get out of bed every morning and the reason I keep fighting to get my health back. I will never stop fighting for them. They are my everything and deserve only the best life can give them 

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